Blogs > Citizens' Craze

Trends can bond people of all ages, backgrounds and economic standings, and can change the direction that society is going in. Are you wondering why your kids are doing the things they do or have you noticed that your co-worker has a new, intriguing hobby? Find out if everyone is doing it. If you notice something that you think people should know about, contact me at: NHRasanders@gmail.com or you can message me on Twitter @asanders88 or @citizenscraze.

Monday, February 13, 2012

A fistfull of love: domestic violence and sexual assault are not funny

If you were anywhere near a social media site last night while the Grammys were on, you would have seen mass reactions to Chris Brown ranging from the more sympathetic "how can Rhianna be OK with him being there?" to "I'd do anything to be with Chris Brown - I'd let him beat me."



I paused when I saw that.

Society has obviously become more lax when it comes to what is tolerated in music, television, movies and society. In the 60s, I can only assume that women would do more than just bat an eyelash if a guy - or another girl for that matter - called her a bitch, a whore, or any other derogatory term. Now, women are called bitches and sluts in every other rap song that is produced and by their friends or family members.

It is apparent to me everyday that, casually, an increasing amount of violent an derogatory terms are slipped into the colloquial vernacular. 

So, does putting more language and references to domestic violence out there make people accept it more; therefore, make people more complacent about it and make them not fight back? Or does it just demonstrate that the issue is no longer taboo in society and people are more familiar with it? 

Think about it, friends casually say 'I'm gonna kill you,' to one another if someone loses a friend's ipod or is late to pick a friend up, etc. Obviously, they don't (usually) literally mean "I am going to murder you," but that's now part of casual conversation. 

Will the same thing happen with language surrounding rape or domestic violence soon? 

According to the National Organization for Women's statistics, there are 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year. Fewer than 20 percent of battered women sought medical treatment following an injury. 

We know it is prevalent and a lot of people aren't seeking treatment, so why does everyone joke about it?

While browsing the internet for information to support this blog post, I actually found a petition site titled "Tell Twitter: Domestic violence is not a joke" First of all, it is sad that a petition has to be created for that reason.  But it is deplorable that #reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend was trending on Twitter a few months ago. The petition, which has 8,634 signatures was a response to that.

I just can't fathom how people think things like domestic violence or sexual assaults are laughing matters when so many people have to paint coverup on their bodies to cover up black and blues or confront an angry fist after work everyday. 

Recently at UConn, my alma mater, the university's television station, UCTV, aired a "sketch comedy" (In quotes because I do not find it funny)  that depicted a young woman running away from a rapist through the vast college campus. She attempts to call for help on the code blue phone kiosks that are stationed around campus and the emergency system responds to her cries for help by calling her a "cock-gobbler" and "howler monkey bitch" who is "crying rape." In the end, the man chasing her catches up to her and strangles her.

I just have one question: what were they thinking? 

I vividly remember walking home from work or class across campus and being worried that something could happen. I wasn't paranoid or anything but I walked home from work at 1 a.m. sometimes. Sexual assault on college campus is a real concern - just look at the Uniform Crime Reports that the state police have and count the number of sexual assaults. Keep in mind, those are only the ones that are reported. 

But really, why would anything like that ever be considered funny?

Back to domestic violence.

Buzzfeed.com aggregated 25 upsetting reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys, which is basically comprised of girls proclaiming that he can beat them any day and they would put up with it because it is Chris Brown. Yeah, he's a celebrity who has a smooth voice and a lot of money but other than that, he's just a guy who beat up his (now former) girlfriend, Rhianna.


 And speaking of Rhianna, she starred in Eminem's "love the way you lie" video - all about domestic violence - after photos were released of her battered face, allegedly the result of Chris Brown's fist.



I am usually the first one to roll my eyes at being politically correct and taking something seriously that was clearly meant to be a joke. But no matter how deeply I try to laugh this off, I just can't. It is sad that anyone can joke about such an issue, but perhaps the silver lining is that if they can joke about it, maybe that means they haven't experienced it. 

And maybe it is good that the omnipresence of issues like rape and domestic violence in movies, music and popular culture is allowing the taboo surrounding those things to dissolve and encouraging people that it's OK to seek help, but it shouldn't be sending the message that it is just a part of life and women (or men) shouldn't speak out about it. 

I don't care who you are - whether you are poor, rich, sober, drunk, a family member, a friend, a boyfriend or a husband or someone else entirely - If I am physically, emotionally or verbally abused, I will be gone faster than you can open your mouth to issue an apology that I never wanted to hear. I hope everyone can adopt this attitude, seek help for themselves and stop laughing about issues like domestic violence and rape.
Remember, if you are in a bad spot there is help out there: Information and resources for domestic violence/ sexual abuse

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Thursday, March 24, 2011

March Madness (I have the fever)

OK, so basketball may not be a trend, but there is something that is jumping out at me during this particular March Madness season: I am (as well as some of my other non-obsessed wannabe basketball fan friends) getting excited about basketball.



As a University of Connecticut graduate, I was bred to love the game. I painted my face with a blue and white UC, spend big bucks on UConn sports paraphernalia, and made sure to get season tickets. While I loved the energy, camaraderie and excitement about basketball, I never really loved the game.

Junior year of college I found myself at the elite eight in Arizona, which then turned into a trip to the final four in Detroit and those games were a bit closer to my heart than any regular basketball game, but still, it was just basketball.

Even after standing for hours staring at a basketball court in New York City only to watch Syracuse crush UConn by a few points, it was still just a game to me, albeit a painful one.

But now I find myself out of college with a real job and a non-collegiate lifestyle aching to watch UConn win the game tonight in a big step in the NCAA tournament. Maybe it's true that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. But I don't just miss dressing up in blue and white and screaming the UConn chant with my fellow Huskies. I think, gulp, I miss basketball. It's a weird feeling for me, as someone who always kind of understood sports but never really strained to understand them too deeply.



I have noticed that some of my fellow college graduate friends feel the same way about their alma maters' sporting events. In that spirit, I want to encourage those who may not be die-hard sports fans to turn on their televisions and try to understand what an alley-oop is.

You can start by tuning in at 7 p.m. tonight to watch UConn beat San Diego.

U C O N N! UCONN! UCONN! UCONN!

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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Bomb threats: the new fire alarms

Most kids have pretended to be sick to avoid getting out of school, but some have gone to more drastic measures like pulling the fire alarm to get out of class for awhile. While State Police Lt. Paul Vance says there has been no spike in bomb threats recently, it seems like they are becoming more common.


A few months ago there were two in one day in Ansonia and during the November elections, a prominent Madison lawyer called in a bomb threat at a Republican Town Committee gala that featured Linda McMahon. The lawyer, James Byrne, has a hearing Tuesday to try to get accelerated rehabilitation for what he did.

Last week, another bomb threat evacuated a school in Westbrook and the police have started an investigation to find the culprit.

Perhaps there isn't a drastic spike in the threats, but kids (and adults) don't seem to understand the severity of it.

Lt. Vance said that after the Sept. 11 attacks, laws regarding bomb threats changed and there is now more severe punishment for committing that offense. A UConn student was charged with terrorism a few months ago after calling one in.

It 's interesting, especially in post terrorist-attacked world, that people still commit this offense as frequently as they do. If it is an empty threat, the most it does is evacuate the place that is allegedly in jeopardy.

Unfortunately, it also unnecessarily uses the time and resources of police, fire and medical officials.

There also seems to be no precedence for punishment. While the UConn student was charged with an act of terrorism, the Madison attorney may get accelerated rehabilitation this Tuesday. I wish I knew what determined the charges...

Perhaps events like Sept. 11 didn't have enough of an impact on younger generations. It makes me wonder if more threats like this will occur the further away we get from 2001 and the less future generations feel affected by the the attack on Sept. 11.

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